


Faucet

by wordsfaiil



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Drugs mention, M/M, Michael in the Bathroom, Michael is sad and so am i, Panic Attacks, Vomit Mention, a nice faucet simile put in there, didnt mean to use so much alliteration in the description sorry, michael is probably wearing weed socks rn, suicide mention (briefly), the squip is a dickhead, unspecified relationship -freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 07:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11054523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsfaiil/pseuds/wordsfaiil
Summary: Sobs tumbled out of his mouth, like a leaking faucet finally flowing at full force.





	Faucet

Michael sunk to the floor of the dimly lit bathroom, the lights blinked and shuttered and he narrowly avoided someones vomit as he slumped over. He then thought better of it and dragged his shaking body upwards and his legs which felt weighted down and heavy swung over the edge of the bathtub. He clambered into it with hardly any grace and didn't even flinch when he bashed his elbow painfully on the side of it. Shower gel bottles tumbled in behind him.

He didn't know what he expected from sitting in the bathtub alone with the sounds of the party muffled, but still pummelling through the walls. To feel safer and inclosed? To feel more distanced from Jeremy than he had been before? Fuck, that was the problem in the first place! He wanted to be near Jeremy and it was like the boy either couldn't seem him or... or as if he hated him. He did hate him. Squip or not, his best friend ... his ..not friend hated him.

Michael gritted his teeth together and picked at the grout along the side of the tub and forced back the sob which wanted to roar up his throat and out of his mouth. Voices suddenly close by the door made him startle, his heart thumped and then it was as if everything had hit at once at the strike of his heart against his chest. The party he was shit scared of, how lonely these past awful months had been, Jeremy calling him a loser. A loser loser loser! Spat at him with so much venom that it was a word turned sour.

Sobs tumbled out of his mouth, like a leaking faucet finally flowing at full force. The sobs were gross and gritty and loud and so fucking embarrassing. Michael ripped his glasses off, not caring where they landed and pressed the heals of his palms into his eyes as if the tears would go back in. He briefly wondered if his ugly crying could be heard over the noise outside, but what would it matter? No one would care if he was crying or not. No one ever cared how Michael Mell felt.

He pulled his sweating hands away and thumped his head into the white tiled wall a couple times. _God_ he felt so fucked up. He didn't know what to do with himself. Everything was a mess and he was out of place and wavering and falling apart and he felt lost, so fucking lost and he needed Jeremy to make it better he needed Jeremy he needed-

**_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK._**

Michael jumped again and his sobs caught in his throat. He choked on air which wouldn't come into his lungs deep enough to catch his breath. His head felt woozy and off kilter, but then-

**_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK._**

Sounds of knuckles clumsily rapping harshly on the bathroom door ricocheted round his aching head. The sharp noise wormed its way into his already full skull. It niggled into the places which reminded him to breath till it snuck down to wrap round his throat. He couldn't catch a breath. He couldn't breathe he couldnt breathe he couldnt breathe-

**_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK._ **

Michael swallowed and managed to croak out "I'll be out soon!" and tried his best to calm himself, he raked a shaking hand through his messy hair, then clenched his eyes shut tight. He tried to will the world away-

_**CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG.** _

God, fuck! Would they just leave him alone?! If this was how everyone wanted it, how Jeremy wanted it to be for the school loser, then let it! Leave him to just fucking cry and panic in a bath tub like a _pathetic_ loser.

_**BANG BANG BANG BANG.** _

Michael screeched and thumped his fist against the base of the bathtub and in a moment of rage and upset, launched himself out of the tub and to the mirror above the sink. He braced his palms against the cold porcelain and he grabbed a few breaths to steady himself and squint at the mirror before him through blurry eyes. He needed his glasses, though even without them it was plain to see already: his face coated in tears, flushed cheeks, red rimmed eyes, hair in disarray. It was so obvious he had been crying like a baby. He'd have to leave eventually. Maybe he could blame it on weed...or something in his eyes or-?

Michael swallowed down another cry and turned the cold tap on to splash freezing water over his warm face -as if it would make a difference. This whole situation wouldn't have happened if he'd been at home in his basement, having a couple tokes of weed for real and getting off to distract himself from everything. The usual as of late. Maybe this whole thing would stop forever if he just offed himself. Would Jeremy want that? Would Jeremy even care enough to notice? He wouldn't. He wouldn't and Michael knew it. God damn that fucking piece of shit Squip.

Michael gathered what was left of the smallest trace of calm tucked into the crooks of his brain and held on tight to it. He sucked in one big breath, scooped his glasses up from where they were flung on the floor, popped them on and then walked over to the door. 

His hand hovered above the handle. There hadn't been anymore knocking, so it must be a clear escape. A clear passage to get out of here and get home or to get into his own casket. With that thought in mind, he clicked the lock, wrenched the door open, and fled.

**Author's Note:**

> y'know i didn't plan on writing sad shit but it happened and i'm sORRY
> 
> fuck the squip man 
> 
>  
> 
> also i missed out a line of knocks but i'm lazy n don't wanna change anything
> 
> follow my tumblr kiddos: w0rdsfail


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